


i have always known you.

by penedae



Category: Moominvalley (Cartoon 2019), Mumintroll | Moomins Series - Tove Jansson, 楽しいムーミン一家 | Moomin (Anime)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Gen, Lesbian Mentor Too-Ticky, Mentors, i guess, not really canon is just malleable, snufkin doesnt realize how gay he is, the snufmin and mymble/too-ticky is mostly just bc its mentioned, this is very self-indulgent
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-13
Updated: 2019-05-13
Packaged: 2020-03-04 20:20:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,246
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18820003
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/penedae/pseuds/penedae
Summary: Snufkin follows a melody and discovers more about himself.AKA a very self-indulgent fic about finding oneself.





	i have always known you.

Winter in Moominvalley was a sight to be seen. Several feet of snow covered the ground, blocking many a moomin and snork inside their home -- that is, if they dared wake up from their hibernation. Some stayed awake during the winter, of course, like the hemulens, or even the mymbles if they decided to pass through during the winter months. That wasn’t to say they _couldn’t_ hibernate, but many preferred not to. Some claimed it didn’t feel natural to them.

However, there was one creature unaccounted for in the quiet afternoon sun, trudging through the snow in clothes that were very much not suited for this sort of weather. Mumriks, like the one who brought his scarf up to his nose, were not inclined to the cold. In fact, many went out of their way to go to where the warm sunny day was more common than the ever ticking clock of winter. But not this one. Not this year.

Snufkin didn’t have a clue about why he stayed so long in Moominvalley. Well, he had several clues, but none of them pointed towards the answer that felt right in his heart. So he stayed, long after the Moomin family packed up their belongings and snuggled into bed to begin their hibernation. He was there when Moomintroll thanked him for staying just a bit longer for him.

Was it because of him? He wasn’t entirely sure.

All he knew for certain was that there was a song playing in Moominvalley, and he was absolutely determined to figure out where it was coming from.

It was a gentle melody, beautiful in and of itself. It was sad, but it gave hope to the days ahead. It felt like almost an echo of his own spring song, ever changing from year to year. It wasn’t very similar to any song he had heard before, but something about it felt so familiar. It felt like waking up to someone he knew.

He listened hard for the tune, the determination he felt in his chest urging him on despite how cold his paws felt. His boots were not meant for this much snow, and yet he kept walking forward towards the melody.

Without even realizing it, his feet seemed to know where to take him. It was only when he stumbled onto the Moomin family’s dock did he slow down and gaze up at the warmly lit windows of the bathing house. Moomin had said… _something_ about the bathing house over the summer, but he couldn’t remember _what_ he had said. At best, he remembered something about a woman and -- his ancestors? He wasn’t sure.

He supposed it was better to discover than ask questions in this case, at least before he froze to death. So, he opened the door. A head full of blonde hair met his gaze, followed by the visage of who owned it cranking a record player. The other glanced up and gave him a warm smile.

“I wondered if I would see you once winter rolled around.”

Her accent was thick, and Snufkin wanted to hit himself when he finally remembered what Moomin had told him. How could he have forgotten _Too-Ticky_?

Moomin had rambled about all about his winter adventure that following spring, about finding out that Too-Ticky stayed in their bathing house during the winter, and meeting his ancestor. The mumrik had laughed and teased Moomin about being awoken by just a bit of moonlight, but he absolutely couldn’t stop smiling at the thought of his dearest friend going on such a wild adventure all on his own. And now, he was in a very similar situation to his dear friend.

Too-Ticky smile grew as Snufkin seemed to be at a loss for words, stopping her winding of her record player. She motioned him inside, warm voice throwing him for much of a loop.

“Come in, it’s alright. I much like the company. And close the door behind you, if you would. Far too cold for you to be letting all the heat out.”

He opened and closed his mouth, but did as he was asked. Too-Ticky made quick work of putting new kindling into her furnace, warming the bathing house up once more. It was a moment before Snufkin found his words again.

“You wondered if you’d see me?” he questioned, head tilted. This allowed some snow fall off his oversized hat, and he gave her a sheepish look as he brushed it back towards the door.

But she only hummed in response, pulling up a chair to the table in the middle of the room and motioning towards the other for Snufkin to take, which he graciously did.

“Oh, yes,” she says, nodding sagely. “After all, I did tell Moomin that I’d love t’meet that Snufkin he kept ravin’ all about, last I saw him.” Snufkin’s face burned at that. Moomin _raved_ about him? To _Too-Ticky_?

“Who’s to say I’m Snufkin?” he asks pointedly. “I could just be some odd stranger walking into your home.”

“You certainly could be! But who’s t’say who we each are? Only we know who we are. Couldn’t force you t’be Snufkin, could I?" Too-Ticky chirps back. "And at that, I suppose an introduction is in order, if Moomin didn't already tell you all about me. Too-Ticky's the name."

She holds out her paw to him to shake, which was covered in soft fur that matched her hair color. He blinks down at it before giving her his own paw and she gives it a hearty shake.

"Snufkin," he replies, which makes her grin. "What're you doing here all alone?"

"Oh, just t’get away for a time. I can only handle Little My for so long, you know. She’s got a personality right awful as Stinky’s sometimes, I swear. Should I make us some cocoa?"

She pushes her chair away from the table and clicks her tongue as she stands up. She mentioned Little My so casually that Snufkin catches himself about to nod along, which confuses him.

"I - guess so?" He clears his throat, frowns. "Why would you need to get away from Little My?"

Too-Ticky gives Snufkin an odd look from over her shoulder as she wanders towards her stove, pulling out a saucepan and ingredients from inside a cupboard. "I stay with her sister most of the year. I'm sure she's mentioned it before."

Snufkin considers this a moment before shaking his head. "I don't think she has. I didn't realize her sister had any roommates beyond Little My."

" _Roommates_?" The word is brought along with an incredulous laugh. "I _suppose_ that's one thing you could call us."

“What would _you_ call yourselves then?”

She gives a small hum and another shrug in response, but it was clear from where he was sitting that she was smiling. Gradually she began to add in ingredients to the saucepan.

“Well, I guess _datin’_ could be one." Snufkin felt his eyes widen, but she continues. "Have been for a couple years now. I suppose Little My hasn’t been runnin’ around spreadin’ all o’that _juicy gossip_ , then?”

For the second time since entering the Moomin's bathing house, he was at a loss for words. He hadn’t even _considered_ that Too-Ticky would be... How didn’t he know she was with Little My’s sister?

Had he even considered that was something people could do?

After several long minutes of silence, she calls over her shoulder, “ _Can I get a couple’a mugs?_ ”

Instinctively, he goes to stand up to answer her request, but Too-Ticky shakes her head at him and motions back towards the cupboard for him to look. There he saw the door to it opening, and two cream colored mugs be pulled out. He rubbed at his eyes like he was seeing things but - nope. They were still floating a good few inches off of the counter.

“Invisible shrews,” she says warmly to Snufkin’s surprised expression. She thanks the air and then graciously takes them. She pours the now steaming mixture into the mugs, turns off the heat, and steps back over to the table. She sits down, setting her own mug on the table and offering the other to Snufkin, which he takes with a small _thank you_.

He nearly burns his tongue by drinking it so quickly. The hot chocolate is sweet, but not overpowering compared to many he’s had in the past. He will admit, he’s not much for hot chocolate, but he was graciously accepting any excuse to get warm. At least that was a benefit to staying somewhere so small -- it didn’t take long to warm back up.

“So,” Too-Ticky states matter-of-factly, and then takes a sip of her hot chocolate. She gives him time to wipe his mouth before continuing. “I take it there’s a reason you’re here, and _not_ just for my cocoa?”

“That song you were playing,” he confirmed with a nod. “Where did you get it? It was so… familiar.”

For a moment, she looks a little surprised and then eyes him again. After a long few seconds, something too quick to recognize flashes in her eyes she relaxes into her chair.

“I wrote it m’self. About m’own highs and lows, and all the in betweens. I suppose someone who felt the same would find it familiar.”

“‘Someone who felt the same’?” he echoes with a frown. “What does that mean? ”

She hums back at him as she brings her mug to her lips, peering over the top of it with a knowing smile. “How do you feel about Moomin, Snufkin?”

“ _Excuse me?_ ” His face felt like it was going to burn away, and all he wanted to do was pull his hat down to hide it.

“I mean what I say. I’ve already got a good idea on his opinion of you,” she laughs, “but I don’t suppose you’d enlighten me a bit?”

What was she even talking about? They were best friends. Anyone who knew Moomintroll could confirm that. Why would he need to explain how he felt about him to Too-Ticky? But… something in the back of his mind told him to humor her.

“Well,” he says, and then swallows. When did his mouth become so dry? He knew he shouldn’t have drank his hot chocolate so fast. “He’s, uh - well, we’re _best friends_. And I love going on adventures with him. Being around him makes me - so delightedly happy. Him and the, um - the others.”

Snufkin pauses and fidgets, suddenly too aware of her eyes on him. He stares down at his mug and coughs.

“I like coming back in the spring and seeing how excited he gets about my arrival. I’m sure he just does it for my sake but…”

Too-Ticky tilts her head to the side, smile gentle. “But you’re grateful for it?”

He shuffles his feet, but stays silent. His cheeks were burning up, his heart beating fast, and his thoughts racing.

“I -- keep coming back to Moominvalley. I don’t know why.”

Too-Ticky gives him a small laugh and reaches across the table to rest a paw on his, her smile widening.

“Snufkin, it’s alright. Breathe. I went through the same thing when I was your age, too.”

“ _‘The same thing’_?” he sputters, finally looking up and pulling his paw back. “I don’t know what I’m going through. And yet _you_ know? You barely know me!”

“I know what I’ve heard, Snufkin,” she says gently. “I know that I can piece together what’s said and what’s implied. Think over what you've told me, and what you haven't. You'll figure it out."

She leans back in her chair again, sipping from her mug and watching Snufkin with a curious look in her eyes. Snufkin, on the other hand, wanted to melt into the floor. Thoughts ran rampant through his brain, trying to piece together what she meant. It was a long moment before his eyes go wide and he shrinks back into his own chair. The mumrik grabs the brim of his hat and pulls it down to cover his face, his stomach beginning to knot up in apprehension.

Oh, no. No, no, _no_.

"How obvious is it?" he groans. "Did you know right off the bat?"

He can't see Too-Ticky, but he can hear the smile in her voice and can hear as she gets out of her chair to put her mug away.

"I knew what to look for. I'm sure it's not as obvious to the others."

Snufkin peeks out from under his hat, quieter now that she’s basically said his adoration for Moomintroll isn’t _quite_ as obvious as he feared it was.

“What do I do?” he breathes, eyes wide as he stares up at her. “What do I do about… this?”

Too-Ticky sighs, gently says, “Think on it. I’ll be here all winter if you need me, and you know the way to my -- _our_ \-- house for the springtime. We can talk about it more now if you’d like, too.”

Snufkin nods, and suddenly the record player starts up once more. He startles from it, nearly dropping his hat in the process, but Too-Ticky clicks her tongue. When he looks over, the record player crank is turning, but with a couple extra little _squeaks_ added along. Invisible shrews, then. When he looks back, he gives her a very sheepish smile.

“I.. do think we have a lot to talk about. We do both feel the same, I guess.”

**Author's Note:**

> title is from dear wormwood by the oh hellos!
> 
> i'm gay and this was written for mostly me so if it's not that great that's why lol. this baby lesbian always wanted a butch mentor so im giving it to snufkin, aka Our Baby Gay
> 
> i have a better written fic over at 'i know love is a seasonal thing' so if you want actual content that makes sense and is thought of 2 seconds before it being written down, there you go


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